January 3rd- 4th, 2022

January 3rd, 2022

Some say I am the way I am because of past emotional trauma, some will say I'm flat out toxic. But I choose to call it my human nature. This is my journey into my true ugly, beautiful soul. 

"Seek Me and you shall find me, when you search for me with all your heart." 

I don't think people understand how determined I am. Because, I get it. Oh Lord how I get it. I know what Paul meant, and I understand what he meant, when he said keep pressing toward the mark. 

"All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you." (Phil. 3:15) I understand more then I hoped or thought I would. I understand now that knowledge without understanding is useless; but knowledge with understanding produces wisdom.. 

We live on a magical, supernatural spinning ball of earth. But we gotta ask ourselves, "How many times we gonna go round this mountain again?" I don't know about you but I'm only going 1 more time. This is the last climb. Amen! So l am gonna run this race, and I'm gonna climb. I am gonna run for the prize and nothing you say, no matter how "holy art thou" you are...I don't care. Because yes....yes this race IS ABOUT ME! There is nothing selfish, or toxic or traumatic that can change this truth. Everything else is a lie. 

Why do you search the scriptures? It ALL points back to Him? I don't believe Jesus was just talking about the Torah, nor the Holy Bible KJV(obviously)... Not when He is the Word.. every belief, every single written "scripture" points to him. (Book of acts... Paul on the mount...to the unknown God... Paul quotes a Greek Scholar/poet... "He is and in Him we have our being"...Acts 17:28...even the Greeks referred to their writings as "scriptures" too. Run your Race. Keep pressing toward the mark. My eye is on that prize. I won't turn back. I will live by faith. I will walk by MY faith. I won't beat you over the head with my faith, I respect your beliefs. All I ask is that you respect mine. It is the first and foremost Boundary with me. You cross that. Well, we will just leave that there. 

Iron sharpens Iron, so then again, you never know what we could learn.  But ima gonna do me. The way I Believe He is calling me. Just like Moses. Just like Abraham. Just like David, Ruth, Rahab, Abigail... Lydia (hell yeah, that's my girl right there! Lol!) 

Awoke. Enlightened. Crazy. False Prophet, Hypocrite- whatever you want to call me and makes you feel good in your skin. In the end, it won't matter. Cuz in the end, there are only 2 possibilities. Either I'm wrong, or you are. Guess the question is, what you willing to sacrifice in this life to find out that answer..... at the end? 

Choice is yours. You gotta do you. I gotta do me. Hopefully, prayerfully, maybe I can encourage you to keep fighting, keep searching, keep going even if we don't end up at the same end. And maybe, if you ever need help towards that end, you'll know where to find me, and I will always be there.

Friends. It's what He calls every single one of us. The Father of the Universe.. The Unknown God. The Creator of heavens, and the earth. You can call Him what you want...only difference between us, is I believe there's only one Name that gets you in. 

Know love. Be love. Inspire love. Be blessed. Be you. Really, truly, who knows when this all will end? Amen. 

January 4th, 2022

To inspire another, one must first know what inspires oneself, at least that would make sense, wouldn't it?. How can I inspire others in this journey if I do not have inspiration for myself. Kind of like how can you love others if you do not love yourself? 

The problem is, we search for this inspiration in the earthly things- the temporary things of this earth. You may believe there is no end to this ball of dirt- and that is your right to believe that. But truth is. NO ONE ESCAPES DEATH. YOU WILL END. Life has absolutely nothing to do with this earth we call "home". Inspiration, and true transformation begins when come face to face with the very depths of death itself. It is the question some of us are unwilling to battle, the one question we run to avoid. 

Is there a heaven, and is there a hell? 

Sooner or later- we all are going to face that question. Question I have, is are you willing to sacrifice what might be your end, or are you willing to step down from your mind and sit with your soul and face death? Are you ready to find that answer now, or do you think you'll be good enough in the end? 

I'm not here to beat you over the head with MY faith. All I seek to do is inspire you to seek the answer for yourself. If I can encourage you in some way to live better, stronger, and not give up until you find that answer for yourself, then I have fulfilled the purpose I believe I have been put on this earth to do. 

I believe the light we seek, that inspiration to keep on living is already in our souls. It is not in our minds, nor is it our thoughts. Our souls, my soul, not your sister or brothers soul- but your very own soul. 

We are a reflection of the souls we see. The faults we see in others, are the faults we are unwilling to see in ourselves. Why do we point out the speck in our brothers eye, when the beam is in our own? Hypocrite.. first, remove the beam from your eye, THEN you will see clearly to remove the speck in your brothers (Luke 6:39-42) 

Seek the soul. Seek your soul before you seek the soul of another.

If you seek another because of loneliness it will tear you apart. Loneliness is a lie, for you are never and have never been alone. He has always been with you, wherever you go.. The outward shall perish. The woman on the outside of me is corroding and fading away. But my soul. My soul is everlasting.. it is eternal; my soul shall grow until it reaches its final resting place.. but until then, I will do as I believe He has commanded me to do. I will walk by MY faith. I will Seek His Face. I will choose to inspire as I am inspired, and in the end, . in my glorious end, I will finally be able to kneel before Him, my Great and Mighty King, and will be with Him for the rest of eternity. You can believe what you believe. All we can do is what we believe is right and hopefully we find someone to help us along the way. 

Be you. It's your journey. Your mountain. Don't let anyone's opinions, judgements, or comments try to bring you to a mountain you ain't got no business being on. 

 Seek and you shall find Me when you search for me with all your heart. Your face Lord, I will Seek."